Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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