I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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