Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
