i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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