I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize