Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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