Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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