There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
