We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
