It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
