You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
