fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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