He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
