The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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