I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
