Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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