Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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