so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
