So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
