3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
