she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
