I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
