God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
