he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
