I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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