i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
