I am puke
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
MIDGETS
????
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
