At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
