I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
