evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
