There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
