Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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