maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
