Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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