She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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