So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
