in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
