Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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