yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
