Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.