Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.