Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
