Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
