You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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