how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
