come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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