Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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