I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The air was thick with penises
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
