then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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