you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
