She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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