my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
