you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
