My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
handjob tips. give me some.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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