Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize