New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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